As I looked into her face,
I saw the shiny happy glow
of sheer delight.

When I looked into her eyes
I saw the sparkle and the beam
of joy so bright

When I look and see her smile
I see the wonder and the awe
the radiant light

of a child holding a snowball….

Such a simple thing..
Such a simple pleasure
Simple..but absolutely priceless..

(and I have that moment, captured for ever, in a photograph.
I am so blessed)

There is a wall blocking out the sunshine today.

Gradually the bricks have enclosed me and the light has become fainter.
That wall is usually there, somewhere. It is never far away.

There are times when I can get round that wall. Easy peasy. Just a stroll, a gentle stretch and there I am, back in the sunlight again.

There are times when I have the strength to climb right over it.

Often, I am thrown a rope and am pulled up to the top and helped over it.

The best days are when it never really gets too high and I can just step over it.

But today, that wall is there and I have barged straight into it, like an insect hitting the windscreen at speed as you whizz along the road on a summer night. Splat.

Boy that wall is solid.

There is a wall blocking out the sunlight today.

But there is enough light reaching me to encourage me that tomorrow is another day.
And when the sun shines, that wall really does not look that high.

I have shared some parts of me, somewhere else, and if you are visiting here, you will know where… and the curtains are drawn there now.

But part of me wants to write. To express myself.

Is this a vanity? Yes.

Is this selfish? Yes

Is this indulgent? Yes

Well, so be it.

There was a time in my life, oh a long time ago, when the words flowed freely from my pen. I wrote in a hard backed blue book, ink dipped glimpses into my soul.

Words. Poems.
They flowed and gushed like fountain springs. They burbled and trilled like the water rushing down a mountain stream, full of melt water. Sometimes they flooded. Sometimes they forced their way into uncomfortable crevices and found new outlets for its path. Sometimes the force was so powerful it ripped and changed the landscape as it raged full pelt towards the release of the open sea. Sometimes, they glided gently along, the sunshine glistening on the smooth surface of suggestion and supposition.
Words. Poems.

But now, that creative flood has dried. The occasional trickle. The odd spurt of something. This stream has become more even than a stagnant pool. I think it has dried up completely.

But who knows. Perhaps here I can explore the rock strewn recesses of my mind and maybe, just maybe, find the occasional glimpse of running water again.

Words. Poems.

I hope so.

Do you know me? Well, you might..

Some of you will have shared in my most intimate moments. Some of you will even have seen a little more of me than perhaps you should have..

Some of you may have a picture of me in your mind… but always as part of someone else..

This is scary.. going it alone..

No, don’t get me wrong..everything is great..our marriage is perfect - or as close as it can be anyway..

But I wanted a little place of my own. Somewhere to bolt to.. Somewhere to retreat to. somewhere of my own. No agenda. No constraints. No expectations.

Actually, I have another blog - a real life blog - but I still can’t totally free myself from the constraints and boundaries that I myself have put in place there….

So why Sunshine?

Well, you may know me as something else and I am still she..

But like the Sunshine I am a fickle creature.

Sometimes I am hot..really hot.

Sometimes I am strong… really strong.

Sometimes I am weak and hardly show at all and

Sometimes you don’t see me for days as I hide behind the clouds..

Sometimes I can cheer you up when you are down.

Mostly I am there in the background, and you don’t even need to give me a thought..

But one thing is for sure, when I go down at night, I rise up again in the morning and that is certain. And when I rise I don’t know what each day will bring, but I carry with me the hope and expectation of a fresh and brand new day. And this is how I live my life.

I can’t say that I will be here every day. But when I am, it is with these hopes and expectations newly created and arisen and the reassurance that comes from knowing that I love and am loved. That is what makes me happy. This is my sunshine.

But when I do come here..

Let’s share..

Sunshine.

Sue.

Me.

Do you know me? Well, you just might… a little… but there is more………….

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If i had a day that i could give you
I’d give to you a day just like today
If i had a song that i could sing for you
I’d sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If i had a tale that i could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile
If i had a wish that i could wish for you
I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

Words by john denver